So this was the first week back at the scholastic powerhouse that is UT. I had so many aspirations for humorous undertakings over the past few months, during which, readmittance was on the horizon. Alas, the cold reality that is the essence of UT has set in and I have relegated to enrobe myself in the warm blanket called anonymity. I saunter in a medium pace donned in the requisite New Balances, jeans, T-shirt, and school hat from class to class, taking flyers from one of the many groups who have banded together to feel that they might be part of something. Like a school of fish in an infinite ocean. Stopping occasionally to check e-mail in a library or gain sustenance from a fast food chain, scoffing at the pierced, dyed hair freaks who attempt to assert some sort of individualism before crossing through that inevitable gate that is Sophomorism. Where they realize that the energy is not worth the payoff. This is not a world for idealism will soon become lucid and they will join our throbbing masses.
No more do I daydream about about staged fights between ninjas and pirates on the west wall, or holiday themed mass streaking sessions (think sodomized stuffed easter bunnies), or huge impromptu water balloon fights. Now I dream about spending the night in the UGL (now called the FAC? no one asked me!) hard at work on a fifteen page term paper about the role of humans in the environment and the ethical obligation stemming from that. Ah, college life, how I missed your cold embrace.

In other news, women are not as hot on campus as they used to be. When I was here last,the trend was bleach blonde hair. I got used to that. Now it's those stupid huge sunglasses, a la Paris Hilton, and bronze tans. Tip to the ladies: those glasses look stupid and everyone can tell when you use bronzing cream because your skin is a little orange. Plus fake tans make me think that you will taste like chemicals. Why would I be tasting you? you ask. I guess you'll never know.

Bizzle. out!