In further news, I hate dshes in the sink. Hate it, hate it, hate it. You may say I have an OCD. Whenever I get home, my roomate has piled a whole days worth of dishes up to the edge, they have solidified food particles on the plates, red gatorade stains on the glasses, and human blood all over the spoons! You can't get that shit out! Its worse than tomato sauce. People call me anal retentive but thats my only peeve.
Speaking of "anal retentive" as a means to segway into another topic: Freud made up the whole theory of anal retentivity (now thats a cool word), saying that when people are infants they are one of two types. Anal retentive individuals derive pleasure from the exercise of power that they have over their parents because they won't "give up" their poop. When they hold on to it, especially during potty training, they recieve attention and get to keep their precious brown gold all to themselves. Anal expressive individuals, on the other hand (or the other cheek rather), derive pleasure from "giving up" their shit to their parents. Their parents enjoy this tremendously for some reason and the kid realizes the pleasure of letting the doodoo express fly past his ass station like its some small Wisconsin village not even worth slowing down for on its way to Porcelain City. Unless its the local. Then he still gets a little joy as he grunts it out car by fiber filled box car.
After that description, wouldn't you like to join my new club, "The Asspressers"? We only Ass-press on special occasions, like my birthday. But we ass-express everyday. It will be a club totally devoted to something that we have had the joy of creating. We sweat and push and cry this thing into the world and we should be able to share it with other like minded individuals. Well, not share per se, but descriptions and feelings and if you want to, even pictures. You might be wierded out at first but dig deep. Mentally!
Isn't this what you have always really wanted more than a club devoted to the most anal retentive person you and I know?
DEUCES
posted by t. bizzle at 8:20 AM
6 Comments:
Was that too far?
I meant Kate
todd, you are a sick mfer. did you need to explain the freud thing? we are not retarded...
oh wait, I get it. I am the most anal retentive person you know. riiight. It only took a few hours...my bad.
also, i totally hate the dish in the sink thing. totally just do them or put them to the side. yeah. uhh.
allllso, you need to update your blog. I keep reading the nuggets of gold thing and it is grossing me out.
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