I think I am going to build a bird house. Nothing flashy just a little tudor inspired piece. I think that the attention to detail and patience required will do me good. I have shit loads of tools that I never use because when I go into a hardware store my manhood kicks in due to all that testosterone in the air. I have drills, saws, chisels, compressors which all sit in quiet anticipation for times like these. Mrs. Neu would be proud. She would be even more so if I were building a pneumatic bird house but the engineering involved in making it weather and beak proof are beyond my abilities at this time.

Building a home for a faimily that is needier than I may even aid in a philosopical paradigm shift. Even more so because they are not even in the same genus let alone phylum as I. Perhaps it will aid in transcending my customary anthropocentric world view to that more aligned with the likes of Arne Naess and Dan Jantzen when they set out the platform for Deep Ecology and biocentrism. It may help me be a better person and a better member of our Gaia community. I will have to restrain mysellf from teaching the birds to do my evil bidding though. That will be tough. I guess you could say that I'm building a little bird house in my soul.

P.S. Even more so!

Late night grocery shopping really is the way to go if you like less crowds, finding everything you need because they just stocked (things like original flavor Sunchips and powdered gatorade are always slim pickins during the day), close parking, and maneuvering around boxes and forklifts.

This is not the way to go if you prefer crowds, like long lines, enjoy sleep, or are scared of crazy people. It is a rather good time to study those in our society who aren't burdened by sanity.

Example 1: The guy just getting off his panhandling shift at the intersection of William Cannon and IH-35. I see this guy daily and always thought that he had some kind of nerve disorder because of his halting style of walk and tendencyto suddenly stop, grasp his sign in one hand, shake it vigourously and wave at the traffic with a tortured grimace on his face. It turns out that it must be sugar induced. He was buying a whole case of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and a 2 liter bottle of Coke. He then walked halt free out of the store.

Example 2: Loud overweight black lady who keeps screaming at everybody. She was in line buying a large amount of assorted candy as well (coincidence?) and a Mickey's. I heard her yelling, "What are you looking at?" and turned, because I like "the drama". She was inquiring this of me. I feebly answered, "Lean Pockets, they're on sale." I thought this would get ugly but all she said back was, "Them Pepperoni ones are good." So I said, "Hell yeah." and grabbed three boxes cause thems pepperoni ones are second only to the turkey and brocolli ones. Fuh Shizzle.

Example 3: The quick little toothless lady who kept darting back and forth around the store only to end up needing a product right next to the ones I was surveying every time. (She took the last of the broccoli and turkey lean pockets) She ended up ahead of me in the only non-express checkout line and kept arguing with the checkout girl about the price of each item. When they had to break from their conversation to get a price check she asked the couple behind her all crazy toothless like, "You wanna come back to my house and I'll fix up some fajitas? I make my own pinto beans." I couldn't hear their response but she then proceeded to ask the same question of the girl behind them and directly in front of me. She ignored her and crazy lady went back to her place in line. WTF crazy lady? I would have liked some fajitas and home made pinto beans.

Maintaining two blogs is tough! I'm really not that creative but I'll squeeze one out just so Lisa doesn't yell at me again. Lay down guys I'm putting this one on you chest. Just kidding, but didn't that give you some wierd mental imagery? Like this...I was going to put the "grossest web video ever" on that link but it really is the grossest web video ever and I think I've shown it to everybody. That one is just funny. You didnt even watch it did you? Well watch this one for real. It's long but hilarious as long as you keep telling yourself, "These guys are now uber stars" the whole time. Then make sure you thank Ryan Mustard for bestowing the knowledge of this great kernel of hilarity upon all of us. I urge you to text him the opening line of the show. Any way you do it, just let him know you watched it and he will be happy. Make him think that he told you and doesn't remember but don't let him know I told you whatever you do.

Isn't it special that Mustard is in two of our blogs this week? Too bad he doesn't know because he doesn't read our blogs.

I think I may be addicted to NPR. This was evidenced when I am the only person in two of my classes who can comment to the professor on "this thing they heard on NPR the other day." This means that I have entered the realm of geezerhood at the ripe old age of 24. I know it doesn't sound that old but ask Mustard, or Holliwell. There is a marked difference between 24 and 23 that none of us had expected. This might not be so evident to Mustard since he was old at 21, but for a guy who is in his "mid twenties" and still a junior in college, who still wants to get his masters, and who still wants to go be a park ranger for a couple of years before making his millions, this is near tragic. Basically, I feel I am too old to feel as young as I do. Asking my mom for money at the age at which she already had three kids, asking my dad for money at the age at which he was working on his second masters is not as cool as I never thought about.

I am that guy in class who has read the required AND supplemental material and has his papers done on time. I need a gray wig instead of my cargo shorts, New Balances, and super cool vintage T-shirts. I need to go buy some plaid button up shirts, and some jeans from Wal-Mart then I will look my age. Then I will sit in the front of all my classes and make comments and ask questions while completely oblivious to the eyerolling occuring behind me. I will become best friends with the professor and/or TA and totally fuck up the curve.

Then I will go out an party in a dress till all hours of the night and hook up with random chicks/friends of the opposite sex to the delight of my friends who will ridicule me until they realize that i am oblivious to their jabs. For I am a master of rationalizing my actions no matter how dispicable.