Every once in a while I get a craving for a Big Mac from McDonald's. I know they are bad for me but something about that special sauce makes me want to make some of my own special sauce. So I'm sitting there in the dining room of my local fat peddler, half way through my second one when I see that they have started printing the Nutrition Facts on the back of the tray covers. This is a bad move on McDonald's part and here is why:
I realize that in one sitting I have just consumed in the neighborhood of 110 grams of fat. This is compounded by the fact that when I eat a burger I don't set it down. Whenever you set a burger down it's inevitable that the bun slides out of place, the meat slides out, or a homeless person slides one out on top of it. When you have food in your hand, it tends to go into your mouth so if there's always food in your hand, it goes in your mouth faster. All in all I finished two Big Macs (and a little cheeseburger because I like the fact that there are more condiments, by weight, than anything else) in about three minutes. Totally convinced that I was going to kick it in the next half hour, I did what any logical person would do. I whipped it out and started spanking it. With vigor.

Sorry about how that ended. I really didn't know how to close out that stream of consciousness. I thought the truth would be the best way. In further news: Many have noticed that we have a new blog commenter in our midst. I have told all that have inquired who "Drewsky" is, but he gets anxious when no body pays attention to him. And when drew gets anxious he starts spouting off obscure historical facts while touching little boys and none of us want to hear obscure facts, so.... Drewsky is my best buddy, Andrew Dunsky, who is currently getting his masters at Cambridge in a degree plan which would be totally useless unless he is getting his doctorate. Luckily, he is getting his doctorate. Everyone spout praise for Drew for, much like me, he must have his ego stroked once in a while.