Go ahead and read that last entry but I just had to tell everyone about this. Go to www.postsecret.com. It's like confession for agnostics. Just awesome!

Topic: popped collars

All of you know that among my many pet peeves are popped collars. Even more so now that it's out of style with the frat guy types who brought it into popularity. I saw a kid of about 18 today with a blue Lacoste polo with the collar defiantly pointing to the heavens. Would it have been mean to go up to this kid and tell him that he looks like an idiot with his collar up? Everyone who has seen him that day is thinking the same thing but they don't say anything, they silently judge. It would therefore be a kind thing to inform him so he could avoid further embarrasment, right? Thoughts?
I need to find a baseline for everyone else on Myspace as to how many friend requests they get from people they don't even know? It doesn't bother me but it confuses me a little. If you would like to check me out on Myspace, click this link: www.myspace.com/toddbush

Check this out:

http://austin.craigslist.org/mis/119839491.html

http://austin.craigslist.org/mis/120152537.html

Merry Christmas to me. This was so much better than the hundreds of dollars in gift cards, the nasty case of bronchitis, or the chest of gold dubloons. Thank you girls for making mine a merry christmas.

So I am moved into my new place. It is so far south that I get small pangs of remorse whenever I drive out there. It's nice having a garage and a big kitchen and a huge deck, but it's so f-ing far. I'll get used to it though because I am not moving for a couple of years.
When is the exact age where you start to actually dislike the holidays? It's not because you are dissappointed in your gifts, because it really is not about getting gifts. The thing that really sucks is gift inequality. When you are a poor college student you are worried that you didn't get anyone anything that they wanted when they got you something that is either expensive or extremely thoughtful.
Then there is the round of faking excitement at everything, and your Dad making you buy gifts for your step family when you didn't even get gifts for your real sisters whom you actually care about. They are good people but I could give a rat's ass what they think about me just because their Mom married my Dad after I was already an adult. It's just awkwardness covered up in smiling faces and glazed eyes for the sake of not causing trouble with my Dad whom I do care about.
Then there's the age where you start liking christmas again because you have little kids and loved ones to surprise and watch the real smiles. Like when you were a kid and liked christmas. But for now. F Christmahannukwanza.

I started hand therapy the other day in order to get my monkey paw operational again and I don't think that I have ever inflicted so much pain on myself voluntarily ever. I would say that getting cathetered in my pee hole several times a day while in the hospital at the beginning of this long voyage was barely bearable but I made other people do that. Now I have to stretch atrophied muscles that haven't moved in a whole year. I have never felt so much lactic acid coursing through my tissues at one time. Anything to feel normal again though. (One tear...)

P.S. Did anyone read my freakin poem yesterday.

The boy walked through the woods on a crisp autumn morning. The dried leaves crunching underfoot, the cold air burned his nostrils, the light seemed to be coming through rose tinted glass. If he stopped he could hear only quiet. It seemed to deafen and drown any thought or feeling that he might have. It was a tortured kind of peace. One which would not let you know any presence but it's own.
He saw the gray feathers peeking from below a pile of leaves as he approached a thick oak. He huffed the air through his nose as to purge the smell from his conciousness and paused. He summoned memories of breakfast, fresh eggs with garlic and onion and sharp cheddar, nearly burnt toast and strong black coffee but the quiet pervaded. As he stepped closer, he huffed once again. Even on tip toes the leaves still crunched. The wings were spread as if still in flight and it's coat shined a glistening white. A worm crawled out from the crook of the leg, a kind of nature's twisted irony and a lone ant perched atop the fuzz of the head as if silently summoning his compatriots. He walked quickly away with his sleeve still over his nose. Even out of the forest and halfway home he could still remember the eyes. Two tiny dark pearls, forever in between blinks, contemplating a decomposing forever.

I don't think that Dunk reads these anymore so I can go ahead and say this. I was listening to Dunk talk to Shankey's mom last night and for a good deal of it he was talking about how he was angry at his sister because she told his parents that for Christmas she wanted them to give her a hundred dollars less per month and him a hundred dollars more because he doesn't work. He felt that this was a cheap way of earning his parents' favor... I don't know about you guys, but that's $1200 in almost free cash a year. If it was my sister, I would have given her a hug and told her that she overpaid for that parental kindness but it was a great gesture. Jess, if you are reading this, stop finding stupid reasons to get angry at people, take the money, thank your sister, and buy me a pony. I'm going to name him Clompy, and together we will roam the earth collecting lost souls.

The right side of my face is swollen to a drastic degree! This is like 7 months after having my wisdom teeth taken out and I have been on anti biotics for like 3 months. I keep having dreams of what it would be like to not have a jaw. Could you imagine? I'd have to chew with my tongue and could only eat soft foods. I would probably have to create a new language consisting of whistling noises from my nose punctuated by banging my head on things to hammer points home. It would probably be a little harder to cruise for tail too. (Sympathy sex is so rare as to be non existent) I think about this a lot too.

More proof that I'm falling deeper into the depths of crazy: Since I have no stereo in my car currently, I have developed a 6 person dialogue that has taken the form of an AA meeting. One of the guys doesn't even speak English. It's some twisted dialect of high German. I was thinking though, none of the characters that manifest are ever women. Hmmm.

Every once in a while I get a craving for a Big Mac from McDonald's. I know they are bad for me but something about that special sauce makes me want to make some of my own special sauce. So I'm sitting there in the dining room of my local fat peddler, half way through my second one when I see that they have started printing the Nutrition Facts on the back of the tray covers. This is a bad move on McDonald's part and here is why:
I realize that in one sitting I have just consumed in the neighborhood of 110 grams of fat. This is compounded by the fact that when I eat a burger I don't set it down. Whenever you set a burger down it's inevitable that the bun slides out of place, the meat slides out, or a homeless person slides one out on top of it. When you have food in your hand, it tends to go into your mouth so if there's always food in your hand, it goes in your mouth faster. All in all I finished two Big Macs (and a little cheeseburger because I like the fact that there are more condiments, by weight, than anything else) in about three minutes. Totally convinced that I was going to kick it in the next half hour, I did what any logical person would do. I whipped it out and started spanking it. With vigor.

Sorry about how that ended. I really didn't know how to close out that stream of consciousness. I thought the truth would be the best way. In further news: Many have noticed that we have a new blog commenter in our midst. I have told all that have inquired who "Drewsky" is, but he gets anxious when no body pays attention to him. And when drew gets anxious he starts spouting off obscure historical facts while touching little boys and none of us want to hear obscure facts, so.... Drewsky is my best buddy, Andrew Dunsky, who is currently getting his masters at Cambridge in a degree plan which would be totally useless unless he is getting his doctorate. Luckily, he is getting his doctorate. Everyone spout praise for Drew for, much like me, he must have his ego stroked once in a while.

So I wake up yesterday to find a note on the kitchen table from my roomate, Lilli, that is asking me if I would be a pal and escort her to her company's holiday party at the Convention Center. Of course, I can't say no for fear of being a bad buddy, plus I kinda had a hand in keeping her up for most of the night, you can guess how...
I spend a couple of hours getting a tie, socks, and my suit from my Mom's house, and having her iron it (I have, to this day, never ironed an article of my own clothing> Bitches, man, bitches). I don't know if y'all know this, but I look freakin' hot in a suit. This girl who handles HR at my old job was there, and at a few points in the night actually licked me. I have had a crush on her for like 3 years and probably could have taken her home and had my way with her if it wasn't for my stupid nagging conscience. Lilli was even calling me a pussy, and I am dating one of her oldest friends. What should I have done gfellow bloggers?
In further Milton news: I haven't written a blog in a while because I was depressed over what looked like Milton resigning... but he's back! He came up to the counter yesterday and we were shooting it. He starts talking about the people at the trailer park and then says something about "this one guy who's a little bit of a celebrity". I ask him, "what do you mean a little bit of a celebrity, what's his name, maybe I know him"> I think that he's going to say someone like Cactus Pryor or someone who's only famous around here. He answers, "Matthew McCougnahey". They're buddies.