Man, I really wish that I could download AIM at work w/o getting in trouble. I get so bored and I just finished my book (read last post). Every once in a while someone will come and talk to me but its not enough to get my social fix. Any ideas on what I can do to pass the time besides folding towels, doing crunches on a stability ball or testing how long I can hold my breath? I held my breath the entire time that I typed..... I just passed out. That killed about thitry seconds...but a million brain cells. I need better ideas people!

You ever get to the end of a good book and then you're kind of sad because you can't read it anymore? I don't care.

Forgot to mention the highlight of the adventure pre-drama. I'd like to say we but it was just me figuring out different nomenclature for my rusty sheriff's badge, or perfect ruby starfruit. My favorite: German Chocolate Factory. So then I can say "the workers are revolting at the factory". I'm German so it works. The phrasing not my ass. I mean my ass works. nevermind.

Went toobing with my buddies yesterday. Toobing is usually the antithesis of drama...not yesterday. We go down the San Marcos twice and and at the end, we are asearching through the cooler for my friend, Bob's, keys. We are sure that we have lost them in the river and the usual remorse sets in. Then one of us looks back at the car where Hayden is searching through the back seat. He had to get in somehow right? Bob says, "I'm going to punch him in the face". Just effect right? No. We watch from afar, laughing in disbelief as they get into an all out slugging match.

Idiot that I am, I'm laughing as we break them up. I do that when I get nervous, makes one night stands awkward. Its 5:30 now. In the morning and I'm at work. Before I got here I had realstic dream that I got new tires on my car and instead of being my real car; it was a pearl white 96 Nissan Maxima with 250,000 miles that didn't have any power. I couldn't find Maxima anywhere in my dream book. Any ideas on what that could mean.

Sorry about that lame blog. I'm better now. Especially since I found out that Neil Patrick Harris, also known as Doogie Howser M.D, has got his own show. Primetime television is saved. Maybe NPH will bring back the late 80s kind of TV. Back when there was the Wonder Years, Married With Children, and of course, DHM.D. The shows that really made me into the spiteful yet overemotinal compulsive liar that I am.

Finally, television can complete my upbringing in my mid twenties where it left off in those horrible horrible 90's. They took away Air Supply, Styx, and Seinfeld and gave us reality television, and a never ending stream of Law & Orders and CSIs and crappy medical shows where they never have a single moment of time where they are not talking. There is no way that any group of people is that smart.

These new shows say that your life always has to be dramatic, your relationships overly contentious, and that any crime can be solved by looking at the most obscure possibility. Hopefully NPH's return to the small screen after a brief stint snorting coke off a whore's ass on the silver screen will bring misogynism and strange living situations back into chic. Now I can once again have a model for living the way I'd like too besides my already reversed version of Will and Grace. (BTW: I live with a hispanic lesbian republican)

Women seriously confuse the hell out of me. Maybe its just other people in general and I just am more concerned with my relationships with women. Feelings are in the balance you see? No matter how careful, I inevitably make a fool of myself. Let too much of how I feel be known. Say something I shouldn't in a late night text. Whatever.

Sorry I let that get serious for a second. What, do I think this blog is for me? Will promptly switch back to my normal, apathetic, wisecracking self.

So I took some Yohimbe Bark extract last night.. Who knows why I do such things. This stuff is supposed to increase bloodflow to the nether regions. If you read Kates blog about Colorado then you know that I realy don't need such herbal influences. Well its morning now and lets just say that I haven't moved from behind the desk as of yet. Well if anyone needs a tour of the gym, my arm's not going to get tired of pointing at things. I just hope they don't want to do push ups.

So my blogging friends and I went out last night. Why we go out in public no one knows. Those two are so horribly disfigured its like watching a godzilla movie. All the townsfolk just runniing and screaming. Kate belching fire and brimstone, no seriously, your breath smells like sulfur and rotting babies. Someone had to tell you and since I enjoy doing it, it might as well be me. Jess... well, you have a tail. Its not huge, its like a little nubbin. Like a hamster, its kinda cute.
ummmm...jk?

Profiling myself? Heck yes!
I Love attempting to describe myself to the rest of the blogging world. Amost as much as I love pooping scoops. Check ot my profile to know what that means.
I got burned in a real bad way. KateNeu didn't burn me back after I so viciously burned her in my last blog. By neglecting my burn it doubled the intensity of said non existent burn. Thats like a third degree burn. Did my burn do more than just burn? Was it less of a "day after a drunken jalapeno eating contest and I can't wipe away the burning" burn and more of a "a friend of mine exploited my sensitivity" burn? I said bring it back. Not go into a rant about dried cheese products. I'm not dissing powdered cheese in any way. Those flaming hot cheetos burn me nice.
Burn.

You ever seen a man in the beginning throes of addiction? Well keep your eyes peeled and your fly closed cause I'm going to take you on a ride. My drug of choice isn't crack or heroin. Those are my second and third respectively. My first is semi witty banter about current events and the inane goings on in my life. Shes a relentless bitch.
So I love text messaging, no really, I love it. It's number four on my list of, well, you know. No awkward silences. No embarrassig statements or admissions that you didn't think all the way through. If you drunk text after a long night, the ex really can't tell if you're drunk or just "reading late" or "can't sleep". If you do say something embarrassing, you can just say someone else got a hold of your phone. Not that I do anything of these things but its nice knowing that I can You can choose how you feel from a whole range of punctuation marks combos resembling faces. There is one downfall though. Sarcasm doesn't translate very well in to text though. I'll think of a good example and post it later.
Here's where I sow the seeds of discotent with other bloggers in order to create an interesting string of banter to keep me entertained. So I spent a week with in Colorado with my oldest friend, Kate, and a mutual friend of ours whom we call Tyler. Tylers cool but I realize now that Kate is a little overbearing. Take that.. but bring it back.

P.S. they made me listen to Belle and Sebastian against my will.